Back To Strangers

I don’t know why I’m typing this when I have a load of school stuff to do. But I guess this is me trying to get closure. Or hoping that this is a step closer to the closure I’m looking for. This isn’t any sappy love story so if you’re looking for that, better click page down or some other macintosh equivalent. 

This is a story about a lesson. One that I had to learn the hard way, multiple times around.

We met a few years ago. Back when soirees were the “in” thing. I don’t really know how or why but things happened and you suddenly became really good friends with one of my own. I didn’t notice you. I couldn’t care less about who you were. I could say that back then, you felt the exact same way about me.

We were strangers. 

A year or two after, life happened. What I mean by that is more things came into play. It was a night studded with stars just like any other. As the day came to a close, I decided to just talk. It was a time of hyped up technology. I messaged, “Was that you I saw earlier?” – realizing afterwards that so what if it was him? Whatever the case, that’s what started it all.

Like teenagers of our time: we talked through technology. We would text and message each other online. Not every single minute of every single day, of course. But we talked everyday. A simple, “Hi! What’s up!” turned into deep and meaningful conversations. Soon, a day without a conversation would leave an odd taste in my mouth. We got (dare I say) close. We got real close.

Yet again, things happened and we were put in a position in which.. Well, you know that video on youtube where this guy goes around asking if guys and girls can ever be just friends? All the girls said yes. All the boys said no because they would end up wanting something more. Yeah. That happened.

I’m not going to lie and say there wasn’t any chemistry. There was! That’s why we were good friends. But, just like what they said in how I met your mother, “If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing; timing. But timing’s a bitch.” And it was. The timing wasn’t right. I could tell because I knew I was supposed to feel something but didn’t. All your efforts and everything you did to show me how you felt? Didn’t reach me because it wasn’t the right time.

Well, you’ve moved on (things happened, haha!). With pretty girls too! Girls that make you smile. Girls that just twist your insides. Girls that make you want to wake up everyday. Girls that are great! I’m not being sarcastic. They’re great. Just… great. 

So, why tell the story? Why share? Why bother remember? Well, because the past few months, it’s the only constant thing that’s been on my mind.

My friends told me that they didn’t expect that out of all the people in the world you’d be the one to do this to me. That out of everybody we’ve ever met you’d be the one to give me a taste of my own medicine. Trust me, I’m just as surprised.

But what strikes me the most about all of this is back then, I wouldn’t have thought we’d go back to being strangers.

I’ve apologized multiple times. But this time my apology is to myself. For letting possibly one of the best friendships I could’ve had get away.

Back to strangers.