Unusually White

It wasn’t love at first sight. Because the first time I saw him, it was because my friends pointed him out since he was whiter than me (which is really unusual since I am REALLY white). I was a first year high school student at a private school that time and I never thought that this person will actually make a large impact in my life.

Second year came and things around me started to be confusing. I will always see him with his barkada near us – at the cafeteria, the waiting area, and most of the time, they act really goofy around me.

His friends told me that he really wants to get to know me but he’s just afraid to approach me since I look all intimidating. I didn’t know why, but my heart said, give it a try. So I decided to befriend him. And I guess, after that, I just fell for him.

He was my ideal guy, smart, cute (not really that handsome), goal-driven, friendly, and fun to be with. All the while I thought, this is it, my fairy tale. But no. Just before he graduates, he told me that he likes me, but he doesn’t think that I deserve someone like him, that I deserve better. He will never know how much I cried that night. How hurt I was to actually believe that things will get better but they don’t.

Now, here in Ateneo, I still see him walking around with his friends, and I still greet him with a smile on my face. I see him as a good friend now. Someone that I can talk to and someone that I can trust. And even though things never worked out for us, I am still thankful that I met him. Because he made me realize many things I wouldn’t have known if I haven’t met him. And I guess if not for him, I wouldn’t have met my second, and hopefully last, love – the one who stayed by my side during those dark times that I was still brokenhearted because of him – my bestfriend.